Before I became a 24/7 Family Caregiver, Caregiver Advocate, & Speaker for March of Dimes, my role with corporate leadership teams was to find the stories that would inspire "buy-in" to the organizational vision and then design ways to seed those stories throughout the organization. I worked with hundreds of multinationals and large organizations across North America and Europe, becoming a leader in the theory and practice of high-performing teams. I'm the creator of TeamEverest, one of the most popular corporate team-building programs used by leadership teams worldwide.
When it looked like my Mother, Betty, would not live much longer, I took a month off, eventually giving up a six-figure income to help my Mother avoid the hell of dementia. Seven years later, the caregiving journey ended.
Of Course I'm Talking to the Birds
It all started with the words of a four-year-old. I was feeling like a third wheel while my friend Frank talked to an acquaintance of his on the sidewalk of a small town. This bright-eyed, curious little imp of a child was sitting on her tall Mother’s shoulders, commanding the high ground. We made eye contact, and she climbed like a monkey off her Mother’s shoulders and down the fence onto the sidewalk. The little girl squatted down, indicating she had something precious to show me. I knelt beside her. She slowly opened her hand to reveal a very dried bee. She looked me right in the eyes, as a kind of challenge, and said,
​
“I’m going to love this bee back to life.”
​
Immediately, I returned to my cabin on a horse farm and wrote the first book in the Ray Adventure Series. The theme was how we can love each other back to life. Soon after, I brought my Mum, who had dementia, to my cabin, and we began a long journey of caring. These books contained some of her favourite stories.
After thirty years travelling the world as a teambuilding expert and keynote speaker, then seven years as a full-time caregiver and a further seven as a caregiver and elder care advocate, I know the value of an excellent caregiving team and the importance of working together to support our frail elders.
​
Let's change the world of elder care, one heart at a time.
It only takes a moment for someone’s suffering to break open our hearts.
A thousand times, we hastily suture it back up so we don’t have to feel the ache and hurt of it.
We do it for the sake of a to-do list that never ends, for that never enough-ness, or to keep our carefully constructed balance.
Until we can pass through a sea of suffering like a magnetic screen door that closes right behind us.
We call this rational; we call these boundaries.
But what if we didn’t close the door on those feelings, or at least not right away?
What if we dared to leave the door open a crack, not get too busy, and not turn to our escape of choice?
What if we stayed with the painful feelings and discomfort?
More than that, what if we walked through that elegant gap called a broken heart?
What an adventure life would be.
Who and what would we become?